5 things you should know about Resilience
Resilience could be closer than you think...
We all need a little more resilience at some point in our lives. We need to be a little tougher, have a bit more energy, bounce, stamina, and ability to handle a little more difficulty or a lot! Creating more resilience can be closer to your grasp than you think.
In my Resilience courses excited participants say things like “this is great – it’s not what I was expecting though.” It seems my approach of exploiting the brains hard wired response to change is different. So I thought I’d tell you a bit more about it.
First I’ll introduce you to the most resilient businessman I know – my brother Steve. For 25 years he has run a family fishing and exporting business MORI Seafood with a great team in an aggressively competitive and constantly changing sector. It seems about every two years he responds to a radical change in market and product focus. It is staggering that he continues to be so relentlessly agile and come out ahead of the game. He is sought out by industry and governments for his knowledge and ability to pick future trends.
He faced enormous odds in the early days but knew he wanted to succeed, assessed his options stayed in the game and learned.
“In those early days on the boat working off the coast of South Australia and in the Great Australian Bight, survival was a constant challenge. Surviving daily life and death situations at sea and surviving the banks attitude to small business on land. I learned self reliance.
The education I had was a solid one. The Jesuits had a focus on debate and self reliance. That stood me in good stead and helped me feel confident with people.
I hadn’t been to university and fell into this industry at a time of opportunity. I was a fit strong surfer who wanted to succeed and my wife was an excellent office manager. Starting out as a fisherman means I know the fish and the best way to handle and care for them from the sea to the table. Wherever that table is in the world. That fundamental knowledge gives me an edge.
I asked myself what I wanted in career life. The answer was an interesting multi- faceted business. Over the next decade I found myself owning /operating a fishing business, an oyster farm and seafood export business. On reflection I found that I had set the process in motion by imaging my goals and then unconsciously adopting that path.
All these years have taught me that everything changes and I cannot get comfortable for 1 minute. The buyer and the way they want the product changes year in and year out and I have to be ready for that. I travel all over the world watching trends and translate that into my local operation.
I had to be dogged to survive the relentless onslaught of the sea, the bank and my competition. The determination and effort required to survive the challenges in the early days taught me how to survive.”
I’ll combine Steve’s learning’s with some insights about how the brain works to give you 5 things you should know about resilience.
Know Yourself – and use what you’ve got
The challenges Steve faced and survived, taught him how to get through relentless change and be humbled by its teachings. He knew who he was in the context of his environment – his strengths and weaknesses.
We need to know ourselves, to have confidence in our own resources and get the most from what we have. When I worked at the Mt Eliza Business School, the management program was often the first time many managers (on average in their forties) had stood back and taken an objective look at themselves. And yet the more you know about yourself, how you function at your best and what your triggers are, the stronger you will be.
How you tell your story tells a great deal about who you are and how others connect with you. Reflecting on it is time well spent. How do you describe your own story? What attributes and experiences made you who you are? How could you be using those attributes to greater advantage?
Know How Your Brain Works
You’ll be surprised how useful this can be. Once you know the mechanism of the brains function you can make that your focus and take a load off the big stuff (and your blood pressure).
The brain runs everything, right? Dr Evian Gordon founder of Brain Resource explains that the brain is organized to categorize everything it encounters into things that help you stay alive, or hurt you. We function in a reward state – moving toward a goal or threat mode – or moving away from danger.
When we function from reward circuitry we are more innovative, better problem solvers, make less mistakes and have more empathy for others. It’s a good place to be. We look forward to getting to our goal and feel engaged. And then there is threat mode; we have tunnel vision, take more time to get things done with more mistakes, are less likely to see how things are affecting those around us and we see everything as a problem or threat.
We are programmed to maximize reward and minimize threat. You can tap into this mechanism and use it actively to get better results.
We can create a reward response. We do this by giving attention and emotional reinforcement to what we want to happen rather than what we fear. Steve stayed focused on what he wanted to achieve, not what others said, or the overwhelming difficulties, or what he didn’t have.
Know how to Exploit how Your Brain Works
You get what you focus on. If you keep thinking about the difficulty before you – well that is all you see. If you see the possibilities you physically change. Yes, you physically change. In reward mode we are open, goal focused and curious. In order to maintain that state, practice reinforcing it with more attention and positive emotion – celebrate, surround yourself with goal focused people, write it down, get a coach.
The simple act of naming the state your brain is in dampens down emotion (it's called symbolic labeling if you’re interested) and helps you to concentrate. Identifying what you want and the tangible goal, is an act in itself that can help you stay focused and utilise your best assets.
The point is to actively switch once you see yourself under pressure and do something that will trigger your strongest self. What are your reward triggers?
o See yourself achieving your goal – be relentless in your focus
o Work on something you know how to do – get your confidence back
o Use your strengths – using your strengths engages and focuses you
o Exercise – Our brain is designed to solve problems while moving ://www.brainrules.net When you are stuck take a break and go for a walk – it helps you think. Also, if you really arched up the threat mode you will need a break and time to let the adrenaline settle down.
o A hug - positive emotion and support help. Don't forget the dopamine
o Being around goal focused people - at work or in a choir or Kiwanis...
o Doing something creative – switch your thinking and re-energise
o Meditation – relax and breathe, learn to direct your focus
Know that Everything is Impermanent
Everything comes in cycles, maybe the best you can do today, in this hour, is hang on. See the broader context of your situation. Remember what you have survived before. Pull out of the immediate threat mode and get some perspective. This too will pass.
Know that you have to be Dogged
“I had to be dogged to survive the relentless onslaught of the sea, the bank and my competition. The determination and effort required to survive the challenges in the early days taught me how to survive.”
The sea, like life is relentless, powerful and will teach you how to live if you are willing to keep trying and keep learning. Your part is to keep trying and keep learning and do it in a focused way. As Robert Strauss said “Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.”
Identifying your own responses to the world around you is an act that changes not only your attention, but also your outcomes. To actively improve your resilience know what you’ve got and believe in yourself, try approaching how you use your talents differently and hang in there… This too will pass…
PS I find 'fake it till you make it' handy too...What helps you be more resilient?